I don't know about you but there have been times this week I have felt truly lost and unable to understand how we have got to where we are. Watching the news has felt like watching a film. One I would never watch. It has also made me again remember and acknowledge the privilege in which I have grown.
It has been a dark reminder that we live in a world where some people have so much hate in their hearts. But it also has shown me once again the mistreatment of so many people based purely on the colour of their skin. After watching the BLM protests over the last year and seeing them in stark contrast with the videos from the last week, it has reminded me again to work harder on what I can do to be a part of challenging my own ignorance. I am learning how to use my privilege. I need and want to feel uncomfortable because only then do I know I am learning or rather 'unlearning'.
Some things I am doing to diversify our life and learn to do better:
Obviously we all have a way to go. This journey has only just started and I feel embarrassed by the time it has taken for the world to listen to the voices of people of colour. So I suppose this is just one of the small ways I hope to help. My influence is small, and because of the people and place I come from largely are doing the same work as I am. However, I need to show up and stand up in the ways I can.
As the world feels extremely heavy and life seems like one disaster after another, it can be easy to overthink and catastophise. As an introvert who loves being home and enjoying time alone, I'm sure this has impacted my experience of lockdown. It has made me realise quite how lucky we are. I feel huge gratitude for our incomes, our home and most of all our child. However, I do realise not everyone loves solitude and the confines of home! The prospect of another lockdown felt very daunting despite my wanting desire to stay inside. I am, by nature, a worrier, a catastrophiser and worst still - a silent sufferer.
Things I am doing to stay calm
This past week has been heavy. It is not the start to the year we were all hoping for. 'Normal life' is still a long way off - our world is still rife with racism and our lives are not as we knew them.
I have no wise words or knowledge on what to do or say. But I do know when life returns to us and we see real changes in the minds and actions of people we will know how far we have come. No longer will the mundane feel boring - it will feel amazing. I hope we can remember everything we missed during this time and we will never take it for granted again.