This day is very important to my husband and I. It is the day our lives changed forever. Five years ago on this date my, then boyfriend of a year, had a bleed on the brain. He almost died and the prognosis was not good at all. Since then we have been fighting to regain some sense of normality back into our lives and he has documented it on his blog.
To mark the day I wrote a little something over on his blog and thought I would share it here too, but do head over to the original post on Will's blog to hear his thoughts too.
Five Years - Amy
I think if I am completely honest it is only now - five years on - I can only fully understand all we went through. At the time of Will’s bleed I was just 21-years-old. Up until that point I had lived a life without too much heartache and suddenly everything changed. As a person, I internalise and don’t ask for help when I truly need it - I am still dealing with the repercussions of this even now both mentally and practically.
I hate talking about Will being in hospital, I hate talking about it because I don’t want to remember him with the 41 staples in his head. I don’t want to remember him crying in his sleep. I don’t want to remember spending countless hours in hospital waiting rooms. I don’t want to remember Will unable to move his left-hand side. I don’t want to remember Will asking to come home and us not being able to take him. I don’t want to remember a hospital accidentally telling me Will was dead. I don’t want to remember watching Will have seizures. I don’t want to remember Will sobbing for his old life.
For so many years our lives were frozen in time and we have been desperately trying to play catch up ever since. I know how lucky we are, but I also know how unlucky we are.
I am so thankful for friends who have had to go above and beyond for us so many times and who are always there whenever my happy exterior disappears. I know it must be hard to be our friends or family because we have needed so much over the years and I am always aware of this and try as much as I can to cope with everything.
I am plagued with thoughts all of the time of whether we should have started a family because we can’t cope without support. I am constantly doubting myself that I could always be doing more to help Will. I always feel like I am failing at something.
But on this day - the anniversary of the day which changed our lives - I must remember all of the good we have in our lives. I must remember Will is still here and whatever happens in the future we can do it together.
Will is a massive inspiration for me and is the main reason behind me starting So Lovely So Simple. Brain injuries love routine and I am trying my hardest to make our life routine and simple but not losing the joy and loveliness in our lives.
We have not stopped setting ourselves challenges and goals and Will is about to undertake his biggest ever challenge and is running the London marathon for Headway, a charity which has helped us enormously since Will's bleed.
If you do have any spare pennies please donate whatever you can or share Wills story and link with a friend -